Lips rolled tightly, I asked my family not to speak to me tonight.
Tired after a long week with minimal sleep each night and having recently given up caffeine, my brain is not functioning and everything is grating at my nerves. I stopped at the grocery store to buy milk on the way home. My son loves cereal and has had no milk for two days. I wandered the aisles like a zombie trying to search his way through a maze. My only lifeline was the grocery list on my phone.
When I reached home, my son asked, “Where’s the milk?” Letting out a deep sigh as my shoulders dropped with my dejected disposition, I replied, “It wasn’t on the list.”
My wife was scheduled to work late, but came home before me to surprise me. My tired brain did not register that her car was in the garage. On a day like today, my historical reaction had been to become a terrorizing bull, bashing and crashing my way around the house while attacking my beloved family.
Today, I just tightened up like a well-rolled umbrella. My family knew I was not myself and received an occaisional retort, but by the Grace of God, I was quiet most of the evening as my wife and I prepared dinner.
After a pleasant meal together, I began to feel slightly better. Gradually, my petals began to unfurl like a flower opening up to embrace the morning dew and welcome the rising sun. Sitting in bed now, I can thank my God for saving me from myself. When I surrendered, He could help me be a better version of my exhausted self.