Although I have always been surrounded by numerous close friends, my journey has been a rather lonely one. To many, the first sentence my seem to make little sense. I suspect there may be a few who can relate at a deep level.
The barrier between me and true companionship was not the quality or quantity of friends. Quite simply, my inability to be transparent and vulnerable kept me from making a true connection with other souls including my spouse.
Although my subconscious goal was to protect myself, my lack of honesty resulted in a very selfish slant to my relationships with others. Since I was unable to give freely of myself, there was only one way left for the love to flow. As a result, I became a self-centered, taking from others to fill up what was lacking in me.
More recently, I have received the gift of transparency. God has shown me how to be open and honest with others. This is not difficult so long as I rely on His Direction. The path was slow at first, but over time God has allowed me to reveal more of my shortcomings and fears to more people.
Amazingly, when I prayerfully open myself to others, I have not been hurt. The more of my true self I am willing to share with others the greater the intimacy between us. This is especially true if and when others can open up as well. This happens more than I originally thought possible. When I am willing to be vulnerable, others seem to be relieved. Suddenly, they realize they can drop their masks as well. Love can flow freely in both directions.
Today, I feel that I am part of a beautiful symphony of souls.