For years, I viewed lust as a physical desire resulting from a lack of physical satisfaction. Then I read something describing lust as a “spiritual emptiness and hunger”, and I realized this was a much more comprehensive description of lust for me.
When I am spiritually hungry, I am starving for the world around me. I can walk into the grocery store and notice every movement, sensation, smell, color, texture, sound, flavor, etc… Even subtle stimulations such as the air touching my skin, the light reflecting off a magazine, and the sound of footsteps two aisles away. With a voracious appetite, I feel as though I want to swallow the planet whole.
I’ve spent a great deal of time asking God why I become so ravenous. Then the answer came; I am hungry for a spiritual connection. This is the strongest form of malnourishment I know. When my soul is longing to connect with the Source of the Universe, all my senses become electrified with misdirected attempts to find God.
In my delusional frame of being, a warm companion, cold ice cream, soft clothes, fragrant flowers, and smooth music seem as though they can satisfy my God-hunger. Alas, they cannot. Even after I have devoured an entire cake or held my spouse close, the hunger is not satiated and comes back with a vengeance. It’s as though I ate a sugar cube to quiet the hunger of a week of no food.
On healthy days, when I begin to feel the pull of that lustful need to absorb my surroundings, I reach out to God instead. I send up a prayer: “God, I offer to You, my soul. Fill it with Your Love that I will not want, that I will not need anything or anyone to fill up what is lacking in me. I ask You, my Loving God, to connect with me and make me whole. In Your Loving Arms, all my needs are met.”
In His Warm Embrace, the fire of my spiritual hunger is quenched, and my soul tastes serenity and tranquility. Suddenly, the world around seems far less intriguing.